Crying At The Beach Feeling Unworthy Of My Life

February 22, 2022

There are still moments of my life every single day that I wonder why my life gets to be so epic.
Why me?

It’s this feeling of having to earn it.
Having to do things to be worthy of an extraordinary life.

As I stood there crying so thought… “How could I have fkd up so much this last year and still get to be here?”

And I let the tears flow and exhaled…
I reminded myself of my lover’s words… “Mandy, you are pure magic, a spark of the Divine… and need to do nothing to be worthy.”

Not one damn thing.
I imagine myself as a baby and tried to picture her not being worthy of the very best life has to offer.
Of being treated with gentleness love and kindness.
Of gifts, adoration, and joy.

But of course, she deserved it all.
I wished nothing but bliss for her.
But of course.

I breathed this in and felt that I was her.
Nothing had changed.
I deserved everything she did simply because.

m xx

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