How Good Can You Let It Get????

November 2, 2021

Wow… I bawled today. Hyperventilated for two hours.
Talked to some gf’s … and then ran my training.

Then bawled for another hour and then made some power moves.

And now I feel the relief on the other side.
I feel ok.

I feel proud of myself for having wired in the ability to show up and serve when I am hurting.
I feel the power in my message when I allow myself to stay in such deep alignment with myself.

I see prayers being answered.

I feel the new friendships I’ve made growing deep. I remember it was just a year ago I felt like I had no real friends after the divorce.

I like where this is heading even though I’m still dead smack in the middle of all the pain.

I am again reminded that I am ok no matter what is happening. I am ok on the other side of feeling all the pain.
No numbing.
No running to someone new.
No pretending it’s all something I can control.

Just true feeling & alignment.
It was the whole point of this 365 day challenge and it’s just started.

It’s all working out for me.
It’s always, always working out for me.

I hear the fears wanting to grab my attention but I book calls with my coaches and let myself be guided to abundance in these areas.

I allow myself to be encouraged and reminded…
Love never goes away.
Nothing is ever all on me.
I am loved so profoundly.

It’s really helpful to have girlfriends who have been through it all and truly get it.
AmyPaigeLori And who just check on me because they are amazing Marie

And guy friends who love on me and encourage me without expectation- Aidan DanFadi

It’s also helpful to have friends who choose a different path and see the consequence of this so I can be stronger and choose more for myself.

Living witnesses of what’s possible both ways.

It’s all a choice.

True alignment takes HUGE COURAGE. This I am learning to a whole new level as I walk this 365 days out.

I knew this would be hard, but I had no idea I’d have moments of feeling like I might die. Still, I’m seeing this through… to the very end.

What else would I do if this were the very last year of my life?
What else in me is trying to die off so that I can truly live?
What in me is trying to come to life?

How good can I let this get???? EEeee!!!!!
I feel this so big!!!

I know the pain will come back in its waves for a couple of months but I also feel this question…