Meditation Breakthrough

New one hour meditations….

I’m beginning to see what’s underneath all the crap….

I’m wildly resisting the reality of what’s happening to people and animals in the world… It feels like it cracks my brain and will burry me to accept it.

It’s a resistance to the reality that I cannot stop it from happening and not knowing how to accept that.
It feels like if I accept it, the pain will completely overwhelm me and never end.

There’s never ending amounts of suffering therefore it will be never ending amounts of pain to endure if I accept this very obvious reality…. ESP the thought of my kids being in this world as is!!!!

This feels very hard right now
But I trust the process… I do.

I can see how this fear I’ve made up about how impossible it is to face reality has caused me to outrun things my whole life…

This realization of the depth to which I feel pain and resistance to what IS has also caused me to get things in a better perspective.

How insanely small our fears and problems are. Lol

These one hour sessions are changing my life and I have just started. This week I felt clarity that I don’t want to eat anything that fights for its life, nor will I be condoning how animals are treated here in America to get our meat.

It was just simple clarity… that’s not the real me.
The real me doesn’t ignore reality for the sake of convenience or because I’m wildly craving a burger.
Or because it’s too hard to face what’s really happening…

I have no idea where this will take me.
But it’s off to quite the start!!!

Ps: I asked myself

I can’t stop the bad things from happening and idk what to do with that.
Horrible things are happening and idk how to accept that.

I can’t figure it all out – you’re not meant to.
I can’t stop it….. you’re not meant to.
SO NOW WHAT?

I’ll post my answer soon.
It soothed me deeply.

m xx