Merging Christianity And Spiritually

November 30, 2021

This holiday I healed something so huge. It was a very welcomed breakthrough for me.

I’ve finally found the words of how I integrated the God of religion and my Spiritual beliefs.

Years back, I learned that I could manifest anything.
I learned to focus on myself, my desires and to use them to guide me to create… I am the Creator of my life.

I learned that desire is a powerful force of good.
And this felt like a LOT of responsibility… it felt much easier to just believe there was an all-knowing God who watched me and knew me and had my back… wanted what was best for me and I could just chill and let him take care of me.

But then I became aware that there is a level of service, a “what is good for ALL”.
And it felt as though if Source was focused on that, it was not paying attention to me and it was more likely that I was in charge of creating my own life.

And honestly, this felt lonely.
Like there was no one watching, seeing me, or listening to me.

This is what Spiritual growth often feels like.
It’s a bit scary, it’s mature, it’s challenging and confusing… yet always worth it.

This season of feeling like I was alone and in charge was HARD. I wanted to go back to the naive belief that I didn’t have to be responsible for my whole life, my whole existence.

But then something profoundly beautiful happened… I realized neither are separately true alone.
God/ Mother Gaia / Source etc (However we identify with the power that creates life)…

Yes… God sees me.
Yes… God hears me.
Yes… God has a plan for the best of all humanity, which INCLUDES me.
Yes… I am the Creator of my reality.
Yes… My desires guide me, but they guide me to the highest choices for myself, which is the highest good for all.

I am not alone.
I am seen, known, and guided.
I am responsible for my reality and I am responsible for participating in the good of all.

1. This takes trust in Source to have your best interest at heart. If you have gone through betrayal and abuse… sometimes this is very hard. But God is not man.

2. This takes the willingness to be mature. We do create our reality. We are solely responsible for every single result we have.

3. We do follow desire and create what we desire… while we are being led by the spirit. When I pray… THY WILL BE DONE… I know I am praying to a God that knows me and what I was created to be, knows my desires and heart… and also knows vastly beyond anything I ever think about for me and for all.

We let go of the doubt that Source has our best interest.
We let go of the immature notion that we aren’t responsible for our lives.
We get in motion, taking action towards our dreams. We are meant to create.

As we go we tune in and let ourselves be led… what we do for another, we do for ourselves. What we do for ourselves we do for another.

Thy will be done, for me, for all, together, as one.

m xx

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My Conversation with Thich Nhat Hanh

What?! You mean… compassion for others includes the woman lying and hurting the man I love? It includes compassion for her?
That’s easy for you to say.
You don’t have a wife or kids that you love like I love them.
What’s that you say?
That’s how you love EVERYTHING? All humans? All animals and sentient beings?

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For as long as I can remember I have always felt responsible for helping others see the things that they cannot see… the boyfriend on drugs, the way they are being taken advantage of, the abuse happening…
I have always suffered deeply to see anyone else suffering ESPECIALLY when I can see a way for their suffering to end!
This is what drove me so hard to break out of all of the abuse I was experiencing, go to school for 10 years while working and being a single mother with almost zero child support, start my business and make my first Mill in 2 years… THAT is a lot of drive, and it ALL came from MY WANTING TO END OTHERS SUFFERING.

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What I Resist, I Empower

I see this belief lately that “standing for a world where race & religion do not matter is naive.”
(And abusive)
It’s popped up a number of times in my feed and then once now in my own life.
”It’s exclusive and doesn’t account for all the biases happening today. Anyone who believes this only believes it because they don’t get it. They aren’t the ones experiencing the racism, sexism or etc.”
I understand the basis of this.

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Someone Told Me “You are not as enlightened as you think you are.”

And I wondered what that meant? What an unusual statement?
I realized that there’s a whole entire culture referred to as “woke” which couldn’t possibly believe more differently than my mentors who are considered “enlightened”. Which was she referring to?
And I chuckled.
I’m definitely not either…
Talk about a wild time to exist looking to find your way to a life full of joy and peace!

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Meditation Breakthrough

New one hour meditations….
I’m beginning to see what’s underneath all the crap….
I’m wildly resisting the reality of what’s happening to people and animals in the world… It feels like it cracks my brain and will burry me to accept it.

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I Was Being A Hypocrite

Sometimes we expect people to handle things even better than we are capable of handling them simply because society would agree that’s how it should be handled.
But that’s still hypocrisy…
Just because we can make the best argument for that being how it should have been handled… (womennnnnn lol)

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