Me: “Babe, I worked through the feelings of not feeling good enough for you for the most part, but now I’m feeling not good enough for your kids.”
-my mama’s insecurities and fears were flowing out of my eyes this morning as I woke up from a dream where I was disconnected from our child, and believed he was better off without me being the go-to love source in his life…
Maybe his kids were better off without me.
What if I let their mom and all her hard work down?
What if I’m not good enough?
Maybe others could do it better than me.
Maybe I hadn’t healed as fast as I needed to, to be good support.
Maybe I might bring a bad influence…
How do I know I’m enough?
How can I be absolutely certain?
…
To which this man whom I love replied:
“I hear you… that may feel like your truth… but it’s also a lie…
All parents do the best they can at the time…
You’ve crawled out of hell… you’ve fixed aspects of yourself that other humans weren’t able to…
So what… maybe your modeling sucked.
So what… you had to overcome trauma and they were exposed to a lot.
So what?
It’s how this was intended… their souls and yours chose that… and for all you’ve been through. You’ve done AMAZING.
…… no one is perfect.
But that doesn’t mean you can’t influence change from this point forward.
You don’t get to “pass it off”… You are given the privilege of being their parents. It’s an honor… and you are sooo capable…
It doesn’t matter where you think you are on the “good parent/bad parent spectrum”…
You have the capacity… resources… and ability to start where you are and have an impact.
And you are not a bad parent…
We’re all just works in progress. As long as you have the capacity to love… that’s all that’s required.”
…
I fully receive his powerful wisdom and love… and share it with all my mama (and papa) friends.
The past doesn’t exist.
I’m a badass at setting intentions and creating the result.
I never fail because I never quit.
My best is always enough.
These kid’s souls chose us, and everything is exactly as it’s meant to be.
And
So
It
Is.
m xx
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