Releasing The Story Of How It Supposed To Be

Back when I was escaping the crazy, I hyper-focused on work and made a million in 25 months from nothing… and it often feels tempting to hyper-focus again.

I moved, got divorced and got me and the kids into a safe space.

I thought… well, this is it.
Now I can just relax and enjoy life.

And for a year, that’s exactly what we did.

Little did I know… this is where the REAL work would begin.

I could finally see all the parts inside that had allowed abuse for so long… that felt safe and comfortable being abused.

I could see that my kids had already picked up these habits as well.

I could feel the loneliness of not having many healthy humans to do life with.

If I had known what I was about to walk myself through… I’d have turned around and run back to all I knew… maybe I’d have just buried myself in my work again and let the rest do its thing, away and untouchable in the ethers making magic for the world.

But….
I am a mother.
And whether I felt I was capable of navigating all that came my way or not… I chose my kids. I choose to be their mother.

So instead of flying to go off and make 10’s of millions… I breathed… smiled at the dream of what I could do if I was free to do it… and let it go.

It’s not mine.
I have mentors who have no kids and spend every moment of life doing whatever they want, using their energy to build their dreams… and I breathe and let it go.

I have my own kind of magic.
One where I look directly at the damn thing… see it for what it is and walk.

One foot at a time.
Me and my lineage.
My and my partner.
Us and our 6 kids.
My work and my purpose, 8 of us.

And my vision is big.

Yes, I accept the calling I feel in my life (finally lol), but instead of wishing I could go off and do it… I am taking everyone who desires to come with me, with me, and fully accepting all who don’t desire to.

I release the story that it’s my job to get them to.
I release the story that it would be easier single.
I release the story that it’s supposed to be any easier than it is… that it should all happen faster than it does.

Gregg’s mom said to me “Mandy, whatever you are doing… keep doing it.” And these words tell me I couldn’t possibly be more on track.

My team is excited and my offers are powerful and organized.

My partner’s heart is open and he makes noises and squeezes his eyes and me then says “I just love you so much!”

The kids never want to leave and beg to come back.

My clients are literally breaking through their blocks in life left and right just owning their power, aligned and in motion.

And we are creating the most amazing memories with our loved ones while we set solid boundaries and clarity…

What a waste of all this magic if I were to feel a sense of not enough, rush, fear of the future and all the other weird crap our brain and nervous system feed us daily.

I’m a no.
I’m clear about what I’m here to do and I will extend myself every grace to enjoy doing it.

And. So. It. Is.