Source Called Me Out On My Sh**…

September 15, 2022

ABRAHAM Hicks said… anything that can knock you for a tizzy means there’s work to do.

It’s MY job to stay steady and stable no matter what anyone else says or does… rooted in WHO I AM and my connection to Source.

Dear Source,
Please help me to accept this reality. Help me to process, heal and grow from all of it. What is it you want me to learn from this? Why am I going through this? What am I meant to release?

– Control… the need to protect yourself. The need to seek safety.
– The need to have anyone be any particular way for you to feel worthy, sexy, loved, and valuable.
– The illusion that others don’t feel a mix of very complex things that hurt if we are attached to the illusion.
– To release your attachment to needing the world to not be superficial, the world is superficial.
When you were a child, others who were to love you focused solely on the superficial while trying to pretend it was spiritual. It was a mess… but you aren’t them… and when others act like that… it is their own healing journey they are walking and has nothing whatsoever to do with you.

YOU DON’T YET KNOW WHERE YOUR VALUE COMES FROM BELOVED….. It comes from who you always were even before you were born.

YOU HAVE ALWAYS INFINITELY BEEN WORTHY because life is worthy itself. There is nothing in the whole world that could change that.

The painful fire is burning away your need for anyone else to be as awakened as you are.
Your need for others to “get it” as you do.
Your need for others to always make sense to you.
Your need to feel safe.
You are an infinite soul, and everyone around you is ok. They have always been ok and always will be ok no matter the human standard. – I want you to know that you are meant to be connected to the collective through Soul, not through the body.
There are moments you tune into us and truth, and many more moments where your human experience consumes you, your need to find safety consumes you.

Darling…. what are you needing to be safe from?
There is nothing that can touch that.
No matter if you died today, a horribly tragic death… your loved ones would be ok.
They would walk their path and heal and awaken the way they have chosen too long ago when they chose their path.
And you would carry on as the eternal soul.

…Yet someone else’s words can cause you such consuming fire.

You do not create blissful safety through controlling all others say and do… it is found through what story you choose to tell about all the events happening and words spoken.

This hurts because you are telling a story that hurts, nothing more. I know that can feel frustrating, and it’s ok to feel.

Feel the anger, the rage, the frustration, the sadness, the desperation…
Let the fucked up thoughts flow – release them… have a chuckle… throw some shit around, be HUMAN.

But remember who you are.
The moment you want the pain to end, you can choose a new story.

The pain is my loving nudge to remind you that a new story, aligned with truth… is available for you the moment your heart desires to align with it.

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My Conversation with Thich Nhat Hanh

What?! You mean… compassion for others includes the woman lying and hurting the man I love? It includes compassion for her?
That’s easy for you to say.
You don’t have a wife or kids that you love like I love them.
What’s that you say?
That’s how you love EVERYTHING? All humans? All animals and sentient beings?

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Not My Place To Get Someone To See the “Truth”…

For as long as I can remember I have always felt responsible for helping others see the things that they cannot see… the boyfriend on drugs, the way they are being taken advantage of, the abuse happening…
I have always suffered deeply to see anyone else suffering ESPECIALLY when I can see a way for their suffering to end!
This is what drove me so hard to break out of all of the abuse I was experiencing, go to school for 10 years while working and being a single mother with almost zero child support, start my business and make my first Mill in 2 years… THAT is a lot of drive, and it ALL came from MY WANTING TO END OTHERS SUFFERING.

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What I Resist, I Empower

I see this belief lately that “standing for a world where race & religion do not matter is naive.”
(And abusive)
It’s popped up a number of times in my feed and then once now in my own life.
”It’s exclusive and doesn’t account for all the biases happening today. Anyone who believes this only believes it because they don’t get it. They aren’t the ones experiencing the racism, sexism or etc.”
I understand the basis of this.

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Someone Told Me “You are not as enlightened as you think you are.”

And I wondered what that meant? What an unusual statement?
I realized that there’s a whole entire culture referred to as “woke” which couldn’t possibly believe more differently than my mentors who are considered “enlightened”. Which was she referring to?
And I chuckled.
I’m definitely not either…
Talk about a wild time to exist looking to find your way to a life full of joy and peace!

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Meditation Breakthrough

New one hour meditations….
I’m beginning to see what’s underneath all the crap….
I’m wildly resisting the reality of what’s happening to people and animals in the world… It feels like it cracks my brain and will burry me to accept it.

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I Was Being A Hypocrite

Sometimes we expect people to handle things even better than we are capable of handling them simply because society would agree that’s how it should be handled.
But that’s still hypocrisy…
Just because we can make the best argument for that being how it should have been handled… (womennnnnn lol)

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