The 14 Days Water Fast Blew My Mind…

I ended the water fast on day 14… and the whole entire thing was completely different than I imagined.

After the breakthrough I had, I knew this was why I felt called to the fast and I knew it was complete.

The awakening I had was vastly different than I thought! I thought the fast would bring me closer to the Source; would clear the noise and allow me to hear and grow spiritually.

What happened wasn’t that at all… but it was an extraordinarily beautiful gift.

Somewhere along the way, I became angry at the food companies in this country for all the toxic waste they put in our food.

I noticed the obesity. The unwellness. The suffering.

I became angry at the way we do medicine. How we use pills rather than changing the way we take care of ourselves.
Our country produces sick and unhappy humans by the droves.

I felt sad and angry about this.
I saw how emotional eating is the NORM.
It’s just how we cope.

And I saw how desperately I wanted to heal my own deeper emotional eating habit.

I was bulimic for 21 years and occasionally it still reared its ugly head.
I still got antsy at 4pm and went for the Tostitos.
I still drank wine when I wanted to feel vacation vibes when home with the kids.
I still ate more than my body needed.
I still reached for the chocolate when I needed to feel loved.

And I didn’t have any idea how deeply this ran.
I didn’t realize that I had begun to believe I could never truly heal it fully.

I hadn’t acknowledged this fear… It was deeper than I could feel in my day to day.

I could see how Source had guided me here to heal this.
I felt it all.
The people I love killing themselves slowly with food.
My sadness.
My anger.
And I healed, bit by bit.

I saw how even still I had made food confusing for myself!
All things I had thought I was over.

Want to be vegan for Spiritual reasons.
Metabolism type says to eat high protein and fats.
My body has run its best with some meat added.
Mung bean soup cleanse was epic and healing and had tons of carbs.

LOL. It was still there.
This old confused emotional food energy.

And I got to tell myself a clear truth and clean it up.
All of it.

I have wanted to get back in incredible shape for a long time.
I’ve wanted to be an athlete again.
I’ve wanted to run again.
Of course I want to go deeper spiritually but eating meat doesn’t stop me from doing that. Just choose very clean sources where the animals are treated kindly.

So I finally gave myself what I want.
I’ve cleaned it up.
I feel certain.
I feel honest with myself.
I feel excited and strong.

What I didn’t see coming was deep truths and longings being uncovered… and awakening about how trained our whole society is to eat horrible foods that destroy our bodies and joy.

I felt the permission to let this really matter in my life.
To enjoy every moment of walking this out.
To choose what I know fuels my body best and release the rule that I needed to eat a certain way to connect deeper with the Source.

I went through 3 years of crazy to learn how to be in my feminine and find a healthy, loving Soulmate.

This disordered eating started when I was 14. To be a woman who comes from all the trauma and abuse I come from to actually be a woman in a healthy loving relationship and have a loving relationship with food feels almost too good to be true. This includes alcohol, tv, and other numbing ways. All of it.

YET IT’S HAPPENING!
I profoundly enjoy nature more than tv now. I don’t have to force myself.
I can effortlessly not eat simply because of my appetite and choose foods in alignment when I am hungry.

I said to my coach about a month ago… “I know that it’s possible to live life without anxiety and numbing. I KNOW IT.”

Little did I know that’s exactly where Source would take me.