And Just Like That, One Sentence… Everything Changed…
I was taking my very first yoga class in Bali and she said “The moon controls water and we are 70% water…”
> I was just educated enough to know that this science was accurate.
> I was just barely brave enough to hold space for something that could unravel my entire world.
> I was just fed up enough with the pain to dare to go through the growing pains.
Those are facts.
The moon does in fact control water and I am in fact 70% water – give or take.
SO… the moon DOES affect me.
*** blink … blink ***
But I was taught that was all evil and a way to get the devil to open doors to your soul…
I was taught it was witchcraft, and witchcraft was a way for the devil to control you… take over your mind.
It was a “new age” … “woo”
and it was bad and wildly UNTRUE.
Only, it wasn’t at all UNTRUE. It was simply a fact of the human experience.
So wtf… how could something so simple and innocent be misconstrued so deeply???
AND more importantly… WHAT ELSE was I taught that was this WILDLY UNTRUE ???????
I felt a flood of tears.
I tried to hold back the soul cry wanting to emerge out of me as it was silent in the room except for Simran’s voice “Keep up… keep up.”
I began to feel all of the things that never felt right to me. That… without some significant fear-based pressure… I would never choose as my own belief.
> Anyone who doesn’t believe like us will go to hell.
> Hell is a place God sends you to burn for eternity if you don’t believe this specific thing.
> Anyone who doesn’t believe our interpretation of the bible is just full of ego. They just want to be right and believe they are smarter than God.
> If you ever believe in anything other than this God we describe and believe in, it is BLASPHEMY… and is unforgivable. You can never ever be forgiven for it.
On and on this list went.
None of it ever felt true to me, but I was sure as sh** scared that little
old me was wrong and the tens of thousands of humans who were murdered by the Christians who didn’t believe as they demanded… maybe they knew better than me.
But then again… none of that EVER FELT LIKE LOVE TO ME.
Later this day we went to the sacred water temple, Pura Tirta Empul, dedicated to the Balinese God Vishnu, the God of water.
AND SH** GOT REAL. VERY REAL.
Here we were.
In another God’s temple.
About to walk in and go through a release in the healing waters.
And I froze.
Do I believe this is blasphemy or not?
Do I believe in the fiery hell?
Do I believe God is a vengeful God?
The guide who was with us noticed my discomfort and came to me.
I said… “May I ask you something personal?”
“Why do you let me worship my God in your temple?”
It felt like a very solid question based on all I had ever witnessed about what LOVE was in religion.
He smiled with his eyes and chuckled with warmth…
“Oh, there is only one God. My God, your God? It is the same God. You are free to worship your God in the temple. Please do.”
For a moment I pictured him asking this question in the church back home…
And again I felt something inside of me give way.
I started to weep.
This was it…
This is what I had looked for my whole entire life.
The moment I felt it I knew it was real.
This is what real LOVE felt like.
As I wept for all the souls who have felt unworthy, afraid, and bad… I felt it all begin to melt into this KNOWING.
REAL LOVE moved vastly beyond the limitation of religion, of language, of beliefs.
My body knew all along that it was not true. It was not LOVE. All I had to do was honor her, and let her guide me out of the fear-based imprinting.
In that moment I decided to walk into the water temple, and have an experience. I chose to believe that blasphemy and all the other scary stories were BS.
I was shaking, of course… 35 years of imprinting will do a number in you, but I walked to the water shaking and crying anyways.
I HAD MADE MY CHOICE.
The intention at the water was to leave something behind. Something you no longer wanted.
I had wanted to leave my extra baby weight in the water before we arrived… having zero awareness all of this would unfold.
I was too shaky to think through it all so I just opened myself up as much as I could and dunked my head underneath the first water spout.
I saw myself as a little baby… parents standing over me speaking with concern to each other. I felt myself see them as separate from me and their voices faded away.
Spout 2 – I was a toddler and they were standing over me this time speaking their concern TO me. Again, I felt myself become separate from them and their voices faded away.
As I continued through the fountains, I felt myself outgrow all of the imprinting from parents, school, society, and religion.
When I got out of the water nothing was ever the same.
I was never the same.
For the very first time in my life…
I felt the SPACIOUSNESS of LOVE.
And everything I do, every decision I make in my life in business is born of a deep VISION I have of humanity that knows the spaciousness of real LOVE.
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