You’re Going To Be Who You Desire To Be

December 5, 2021

You’re Going To Be Who You Desire To Be, come hell or high waters.

Each time I try to guess how it will all work out, I am wrong. lol

What if we just dive headfirst into the life we dream of… even if it hurts, we suck, it makes no sense to anyone around us…

And what if we stayed the course even when it SUCKS and we keep being wrong about how it will all come together? How it will feel… what it will all mean and be.

If we just let go…
Just let it all go, and choose to BE the person we desire to be now.

No matter who likes it, who doesn’t, who judges it, who misunderstands… who gets upset… who is impressed.

We just keep choosing it and choosing it and choosing it.
We feel the pain, the unknown, the bumps and just keep choosing it.
We see the rewards, the breakthroughs, and the wins… and we just keep choosing it.

We quit, decide we want something else, and fall down… and choose it again anyways.

We feel the ego taunting us, and the tension of sucking… and keep choosing it anyways.
We feel the doubt, indecision, and insecurity and keep choosing it anyways.

We hear the old stories about why it’s wrong, bad, or weird… we feel the doubt inside about if we are doing the right thing… and WE KEEP CHOOSING IT ANYWAYS.


And again.
And again.
And again.

m xx

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My Conversation with Thich Nhat Hanh

What?! You mean… compassion for others includes the woman lying and hurting the man I love? It includes compassion for her?
That’s easy for you to say.
You don’t have a wife or kids that you love like I love them.
What’s that you say?
That’s how you love EVERYTHING? All humans? All animals and sentient beings?

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For as long as I can remember I have always felt responsible for helping others see the things that they cannot see… the boyfriend on drugs, the way they are being taken advantage of, the abuse happening…
I have always suffered deeply to see anyone else suffering ESPECIALLY when I can see a way for their suffering to end!
This is what drove me so hard to break out of all of the abuse I was experiencing, go to school for 10 years while working and being a single mother with almost zero child support, start my business and make my first Mill in 2 years… THAT is a lot of drive, and it ALL came from MY WANTING TO END OTHERS SUFFERING.

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What I Resist, I Empower

I see this belief lately that “standing for a world where race & religion do not matter is naive.”
(And abusive)
It’s popped up a number of times in my feed and then once now in my own life.
”It’s exclusive and doesn’t account for all the biases happening today. Anyone who believes this only believes it because they don’t get it. They aren’t the ones experiencing the racism, sexism or etc.”
I understand the basis of this.

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And I wondered what that meant? What an unusual statement?
I realized that there’s a whole entire culture referred to as “woke” which couldn’t possibly believe more differently than my mentors who are considered “enlightened”. Which was she referring to?
And I chuckled.
I’m definitely not either…
Talk about a wild time to exist looking to find your way to a life full of joy and peace!

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Meditation Breakthrough

New one hour meditations….
I’m beginning to see what’s underneath all the crap….
I’m wildly resisting the reality of what’s happening to people and animals in the world… It feels like it cracks my brain and will burry me to accept it.

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I Was Being A Hypocrite

Sometimes we expect people to handle things even better than we are capable of handling them simply because society would agree that’s how it should be handled.
But that’s still hypocrisy…
Just because we can make the best argument for that being how it should have been handled… (womennnnnn lol)

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