Freedom in grieving

Sometimes I just grieve.
Grieve the broken families.
The kids suffering.
The loss of innocence in our culture.
I feel it so deep in my bones…

And I let myself feel it all and cry, ache and break.

And I feel the deepest yearning I’ve ever felt inside… wishing I could create a safe space for everyone… an INNOCENT place for everyone.

And I wonder… what’s the point of this?
And I’ve spent many years sitting with this and studying those who have found peace with it all.

And yesterday in my yearning I realized….
>mind blown<

The enlightened masters did just that.
They either created a massive awakening or a safe place of innocence and peace! (or both)

I now understand where that drive came from… and then I feel so soooo inadequate. So small. So clueless.

And I know I’m not the only one daydreaming of taking their kids to the country where they can run the land and connect with God away from tiktoc and all the insanity imprinting.

But THIS place right here… this is it.
THIS is the place where we decide.
This is where we sub come to the pain and desperation or we decide we’re going to bring God’s light in our own mind and energy field, in our home, in our relationships and in the world.

And there are no prerequisites.
There are no disqualifications.

Every single thought I think that causes me to feel that desperation is a lie from evil. Our own ego, maya or the satanic force, and the collective influence that has grown.

I either opt in or I do not.
I can grieve and acknowledge I have a story that it should all be different, more innocent and whole… and I can feel my feelings and remind myself of the truth.

And “the truth shall set you free”
Which means…….. I find the truth by finding what thoughts bring FREEDOM. NOT THE REVERSE.

I don’t have to go find freedom.
I ACKNOWLEDGE IT.

And everything else is just mischief.
So… today I will allow myself to grieve and tell myself the truth about what lies I’ve been buying into… and face it all….

BUT I CHOOSE FREEDOM.
I feel.
I tell the whole truth.
I acknowledge the BS that feels like confusion and death.
I then decide…
and it is my decision alone to wallow and believe it’s all too much, too horrible and too big… I can believe the thoughts…

OR I CAN ACKNOWLEDGE FREEDOM… by telling a deeper truth that only my spirit can feel. My SOUL directs my brain… not the other way around.

There’s zero scenario where my brain is smarter and gets it all better than SOURCE. lol

So…. I choose freedom.
Again.
Again.
Again.
Again…….

And I’ll never stop rewiring my brain to get on board.
I’ll never stop facing the lies and calling them out.
I’ll never stop reaching for freedom, life and like-minded humans that are here to do God’s work.

And I’ll never ever, EVER believe the lie that I can’t make a difference through God’s power.

Say it with me:
“I’m here to be a reflection of God’s love and there’s zero chance my brain will ever stop me. I now declare and decree perfect alignment with my original design! Thank you God for molding me to be a perfect reflection of you in every area of my life… no matter what it takes.”

And so it is.

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What to do if it feels like meditation is a waste of time?

(What I learned from Mooji)
Meditation was ALWAYS a huge struggle for me.
Even now that I literally never have to work again if I don’t want to… I still feel a voice in me telling me I’m wasting time if I just be present with God in meditation.
This is VERY normal, lol. It is our brain’s job to just keep feeding thoughts… that ultimately distract us from our true self. It’s just not a problem.
Mooji said it brilliantly, “This ‘seemingly passive’ action generates tremendous power.”

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Don’t have time for God?

Imagine if when we feel financial stress…
When our kids have some suffering going on…
When we are overwhelmed or exhausted…
When we don’t know what to do…
Instead of numbing out on social.
Instead of overeating or drinking…
Instead of nagging and criticizing…
Instead of shutting down or taking frantic action…

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THRIVING never takes away from your kids, health or romantic partner…

(you know it’s true that thriving never takes away from your kids, health or romantic partner, yet you are not experiencing it… why?)
I was taught this as I scaled my wealth and business… only I WASN’T fully experiencing it ongoing… and of course it did take away from these things…
But….. IT IS ACTUALLY true… Thriving DOES NOT take away from our health, wealth or time… so why was it still feeling like not every need was being met while I took the time, resource and space I needed to thrive?

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Protecting through self-sabotage in health????

This morning I prayed for restoration in my health… and full exposing of all holding me back. I declared it as I woke up in pain from sitting yesterday creating all day.
I felt an even deeper birth of knowing that my words hold all the power needed to heal. Deeper and deeper we go into God’s power.
And just like that within the hour – all of a sudden I could see the mischief playing out. From the sexual assaults in my life to being drowned in the tub and men being obsessed with me… to being told harm should come to me so I would lose weight… full circle trauma.

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“If I don’t do it, no one will…”

No one else knows how to do it as good as you, as quickly and effectively as you… right?
So you always have to do it yourself… and there’s just not enough time in a day…
Oh my gosh! Even just saying these old words gives me a stomach ache… but I remember OH SO CLEARLY when life felt this way.
It’s all TOTAL CRAP.
And if you don’t have the courage to face that… it won’t change.

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Longing to serve

I long to serve with every ounce of my strength…
I yearn to LOVE in a way that is free of self-preference and self-preservation.
…. And that takes physical, emotional and spiritual strength.
It means eating well.
It means working out daily.
It means strong relentless boundaries with toxic people.
It means praying and protecting myself every morning before I pray for others.

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