Longing to serve

I long to serve with every ounce of my strength…

I yearn to LOVE in a way that is free of self-preference and self-preservation.

…. And that takes physical, emotional and spiritual strength.

It means eating well.
It means working out daily.
It means strong relentless boundaries with toxic people.
It means praying and protecting myself every morning before I pray for others.

… facing the toxic vanity culture we live in and choosing to not participate.

It means standing beside powerful, extraordinary humans and not comparing.

… choosing to train my children so we have a peaceful family life.
… keeping my commitments.
… and doing what I can now, today, this moment.

It means going the extra mile in my own home.
The extra mile taking care of myself…
My family.
My home.
My personal space.
And my partner.

It means shifting from trying to get everyone on my timeline and getting on theirs.
It means looking for opportunities to help.
It means seeing them in their greatness and endlessly reflecting it back to them.

IT MEANS NO COMPLAINING.
No going into the fear.
No giving into the temptation that promises relief… and gives chaos.

It means to get still.
Listen.
And obey.

It means remembering every waking second that my true strength comes from God… and doing my best to align my powerful WILL to God’s as I walk.

It means remembering that LOVE is the teacher, not me.
It’s remembering LOVE is a verb.
It’s remembering that being able to LOVE is an incredible honor and gift that brings deep joy in the end.

And every day I see myself strengthen in this new way just a little.
And a little bit more.
And a little bit more.

It’s a dream come true.

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We don’t ask God to do things

God is already perfect.
I realized that asking Him to change things… is kind of ridiculous.
The Creator of all… doesn’t need my instruction.
He doesn’t need my plan.
He doesn’t need me to “remind” Him of what’s right.
He is perfection.
He is already moving everything toward truth… not in my timing, but in alignment.

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Everyone around you pretends they are fine

Being the one who CHOOSES TO HEAL, when everyone around you pretends they are fine…
When we stop performing, people get uncomfortable.
When we stop absorbing everyone else’s chaos, they get upset.
When we stop fixing, explaining, shrinking, or keeping the peace, we get called dramatic, lazy, or too much. We are labeled “the problem”.
When we tell the truth about the effect things are having on us…
When we NAME abuse, and crappy behavior… people will use it to make you look like the problem.

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The Upgrade Hurts

I feel the thousands of humans all over the world are sitting in bedrooms, saunas, coffee shops, and back porches… 
with tears in their eyes and pressure in their chest…
because something they used to survive with no longer fits the soul they’ve become.
They’re waking up in the subtle, aching way … the … I can’t do it that way anymore…. awakening.

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I don’t second-guess myself

I don’t negotiate with what I already know…
I don’t do confusion.
If it’s not clear, it’s a no.
If it doesn’t feel safe, I step back.
If I have to fight to be understood, I’m in the wrong place.
I don’t explain my truth to people who keep showing they can’t hold it.
I don’t wait around for potential.
I don’t accept crumbs from anyone… emotionally, energetically, spiritually. It doesn’t serve them.

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