Neater. More linear. Less messy.

I’ve always wished that I could be more graceful in my journey…

Neater. More linear. Less messy.
Less drastic changes.

And sometimes I really feel like something is wrong with me when I see my peers being the same. Same. Same. 10 years later… the same.

And… through this I’ve come to embrace the craziness as I realize that it is this way because I outgrow myself 100x a year.
Like most of you, I come from a long line of trauma.

So … did we think it was just magically going to look all neat? Lol

Did we think that breaking lineal habits and imprintings was going to go smoothly?

Did we think we would be without BIG challenges?

Did we think we would understand it all every time we find ourselves on a whole, entire, new planet? Lol

Did we think we would intellect our way out of it all? Learn enough to finally understand it all?

Did we think that it would look like the person next to us?

Did we think that we would feel good comparing ourselves to the people around us when YOU ARE THE ONE breaking the mold?

Silly.
Lol

No.
If it is happening it is God’s will. We know… Because… it is happening lol

And learning more, more moreeee is not going to change any of this…

OUR WORK IS TO ALLOW THE SOUL TO BE GUIDED EVEN WHEN THE INTELLECT IS IN THE DARKNESS…

To calm the mind and experience God rather than understand God.

To let go.
To tell ourselves the whole truth as deeply as we can every step of the way.

TO AIM at connection with the Divine… and relentlessly pursue oneness… so we can be soothed, carried and activated in the light… rather than needing to pull from those around us.

And no matter how messy or painful, how scary or unfamiliar…. WE don’t ever change our aim.

No matter how joyful, how epic and abundant… we don’t change our aim toward our creator.

“If you only knew how much God loves you, you would cry tears of joy for the rest of your life.”

❤ Let’s do that.

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What to do if it feels like meditation is a waste of time?

(What I learned from Mooji)
Meditation was ALWAYS a huge struggle for me.
Even now that I literally never have to work again if I don’t want to… I still feel a voice in me telling me I’m wasting time if I just be present with God in meditation.
This is VERY normal, lol. It is our brain’s job to just keep feeding thoughts… that ultimately distract us from our true self. It’s just not a problem.
Mooji said it brilliantly, “This ‘seemingly passive’ action generates tremendous power.”

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Don’t have time for God?

Imagine if when we feel financial stress…
When our kids have some suffering going on…
When we are overwhelmed or exhausted…
When we don’t know what to do…
Instead of numbing out on social.
Instead of overeating or drinking…
Instead of nagging and criticizing…
Instead of shutting down or taking frantic action…

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THRIVING never takes away from your kids, health or romantic partner…

(you know it’s true that thriving never takes away from your kids, health or romantic partner, yet you are not experiencing it… why?)
I was taught this as I scaled my wealth and business… only I WASN’T fully experiencing it ongoing… and of course it did take away from these things…
But….. IT IS ACTUALLY true… Thriving DOES NOT take away from our health, wealth or time… so why was it still feeling like not every need was being met while I took the time, resource and space I needed to thrive?

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Protecting through self-sabotage in health????

This morning I prayed for restoration in my health… and full exposing of all holding me back. I declared it as I woke up in pain from sitting yesterday creating all day.
I felt an even deeper birth of knowing that my words hold all the power needed to heal. Deeper and deeper we go into God’s power.
And just like that within the hour – all of a sudden I could see the mischief playing out. From the sexual assaults in my life to being drowned in the tub and men being obsessed with me… to being told harm should come to me so I would lose weight… full circle trauma.

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“If I don’t do it, no one will…”

No one else knows how to do it as good as you, as quickly and effectively as you… right?
So you always have to do it yourself… and there’s just not enough time in a day…
Oh my gosh! Even just saying these old words gives me a stomach ache… but I remember OH SO CLEARLY when life felt this way.
It’s all TOTAL CRAP.
And if you don’t have the courage to face that… it won’t change.

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Longing to serve

I long to serve with every ounce of my strength…
I yearn to LOVE in a way that is free of self-preference and self-preservation.
…. And that takes physical, emotional and spiritual strength.
It means eating well.
It means working out daily.
It means strong relentless boundaries with toxic people.
It means praying and protecting myself every morning before I pray for others.

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