Showing up from a place of LOVE

I thought I knew what showing up from a place of LOVE meant…
I thought I was doing it…
I thought that I was operating from a place of big LOVE.

I showed up every day of my life for 7 years giving everything I had to rescue those I love…
To have the money & power to help everyone in my world…

Lol…
It seems so silly now that I could not see that that was all ego… it really did seem like love…

But how could LOVE come from a resistance to what is, and a fear that those we love will suffer?

That’s not love… love casts out all fear.
No wonder I could not understand the quote my friend Dr. Clint G. Rogers introduced me to…

“I did not come to teach you. I came to LOVE you and LOVE will teach you.”

Love isn’t rescuing.
Love isn’t showing up big so you can make someone else’s life the way we want it to be… so that WE don’t feel the pain of seeing them suffer…

Love isn’t manifesting our every desire so that we can feel powerful and worthy.

Love isn’t being so strong and relentless that we can make everyone be how we think they should be. Lol… that’s some toxic ego-ridden control insanity.

But when I went to show up and create… serve… I was so confused… so if it isn’t driven by self-survival… and it also isn’t driven by rescuing others… and it ALSO isn’t just manifesting my ever desire in some self-focused world of “have it all”… then what the heck is it?!?!?!

LOVE.
I love you enough to manage my own emotions so I don’t dump them on you.
I love you enough to go to God for peace so I don’t try to control you.
I love you enough to work through my addictions and crappy habits so that I can be sane around you lol
I love you enough to show up in this life giving all I’ve got so you get to be around an uplifting energy.
I love you enough to KNOW in every cell of my being that we are equals and I am in no way above you.
I love you enough to tell you the whole truth.
I love you enough to sit my arse down, be quiet, be still and do my spiritual work so I can bring joy and peace to our world.
I love you enough to bring my gifts full fledge to the world and let them serve anyone who needs them.

Real love casts out ALL fear. ALL. ALL……… without exception.


All my love,
Mandy

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Feeling unworthy and insignificant to God…

I have felt profound unworthiness every time I tried to feel God’s presence… and sit in meditation…
And to my surprise… I realized that UNWORTHINESS is nothing but ego.
It is simply more self-focus.
“I’m this. I did this. I didn’t accomplish that.” Yada yadda.
And each time I remind myself of this quote: “Instead of focusing on our flaws… focus on God’s Love.”

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Neater. More linear. Less messy.

I’ve always wished that I could be more graceful in my journey…
Neater. More linear. Less messy.
Less drastic changes.
And sometimes I really feel like something is wrong with me when I see my peers being the same. Same. Same. 10 years later… the same.
And… through this I’ve come to embrace the craziness as I realize that it is this way because I outgrow myself 100x a year.
Like most of you, I come from a long line of trauma.

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#morningLOVErant

I can’t believe I get to do this whole human thing…
I mean… what were the chances I’d be able to be born a human and do this?????
What an incredible gift!
I’m so blessed that I can’t even begin to comprehend it…
I choose to feel God’s love pouring through my veins.
I choose to feel the UNENDINGNESS of the LOVE… the countless ways I am loved… the extraordinary possibility of drawing nearer to this LOVE… ahhhh!

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Dark night of the Soul

… where you feel disconnected, lost, and unsure of your path… a time when old beliefs and ways of being fall away, but the new hasn’t fully emerged yet…
My old friend lol.
This sacred space is so challenging… I fully understand why most of humanity avoids it… numbs it and stays attached so deeply to their current sets of beliefs…

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