Dark night of the Soul
… where you feel disconnected, lost, and unsure of your path… a time when old beliefs and ways of being fall away, but the new hasn’t fully emerged yet…
My old friend lol.
This sacred space is so challenging… I fully understand why most of humanity avoids it… numbs it and stays attached so deeply to their current sets of beliefs…
Because when you let them go there is an unavoidable VOID that we find it almost unbearable to sit in.
The boss babe life… have it all life… manifest your every dream life… plant medicine for all the answers life… it’s beautiful… and it has its place in the journey of healing and awakening.
It’s fun lol.
And it’s so important we understand our own power as a soul in this human life. This phase awakens this very well.
Some people choose to live here and go no further making this the way of life. Others choose the path of the bodhisattva… Sanskrit for “a being who is on the way to becoming enlightened” and continue on taking the parts that serve them and leaving the rest behind.
And I’ve known since very young what I was called here to do… I never knew how, but I always knew who I was called to BE…
And even though a big part of me just wants to run back to it and have more fun… you really can’t, can you? Once you see the next level of you, you can’t go back.
You just can’t. (I know you know what I’m saying here…)
You can numb and procrastinate.
You can stay in an altered state so it’s all a bit fuzzy.
You can blame everyone around you…
You can self destruct…
But you can’t go back and have it feel blissfully ignorant like it used to. lol
And this void… we call the dark night of the soul.
As I move through the darkness alongside you… I want to remind us that the SUN ALWAYS RISES!! And the sun has not gone anywhere… we have simply lost orientation for a moment.
And from all of the times I find myself here in the void with nothing to cling to anymore… I’ve learned that the fastest way of moving through it is to FULLY surrender to the process. This means letting go of the need to have all the answers right now and trusting that this period of uncertainty is leading us to a more profound understanding of ourselves and our purpose. It’s about allowing ourselves to be remade, even if that feels uncomfortable or disorienting.
Even if it feels like dying… we simply let the fire (discomfort, pain and confusion of the void) burn off all that doesn’t belong… All that can’t come with you to your next level.
We let it all die. And we give birth to the new.
The world I choose for today is to surrender all thoughts and tensions telling me something is wrong… something different needs to be… or that I’m wrong for being in the void.
Truly it’s an honor.
We did a LOT RIGHT to be able to be in this void.
We CHOOSE to grow. Complacency doesn’t get people into the void.
I used to order how so many of my peers have the SAME message for 10 years never needing to do an overhaul on their brand and messages… and then I realized that this level of rapid growth was one of my gifts.
And I’ve learned that it is a huge honor to be given the chance to awaken so profoundly again and again.
So while the void can be VERY disorienting… we trust our guide within. We trust the small still voice.
We trust the process.
We let go of silly little human notions of how it’s all supposed to be.
I LET GO.
I LET GO.
I LET GO.
Fully and completely.
I remember who is in charge of all of existence and where it’s all headed and I laugh feeling so silly and ridiculous for trying to think I know how it should be. LOL
I allow the lightness into my void through surrender. Through trust.
I let my faith build.
I continue to let go and let my will align with Source.
I feel gratitude that I get to be in this void, yet again… allowing God’s will to birth through me.
I mean… does it actually get any more exciting and incredible than that?
Who needs to KNOW it all when we get to be part of that!
I have absolutely no clue where this is leading me. And there is a great battle within between the part of me who wants to HAVE IT ALL and the part of me aligning to God’s divine plan without trying to appease my body’s need for comfort… pleasure seeking and pain avoiding… and my mind’s desperate need to KNOW… with all it’s thought patterns and preferences…
But I choose to allow this death and rebirth…
I choose to let go.
I choose to surrender to the process.
I choose to let go of anything I thought I knew about what should and shouldn’t be and hear with the very best of me… what the Divine plan is for my life.
No rules.
No attachments.
And I will pray unceasingly that the fires burn hot to dissolve all that is holding me back…
Say it with me:
I surrender to this void,
Trusting it leads me to Your truth.
Refine me, align me, and let the fires burn effectively,
So I may emerge in Your will.
And so it is.
Amen.