Spiritual Growth

The COURAGE to hold beauty…

Mandy Perry

I got a very bad hair coloring today. She accidentally covered up my beautiful white streaks and made my hair a grayish muted flat color. It will take a month to correct.

And I cried. It is so very flat and ugly… and I couldn’t help but notice the timing of it…

I’ve been slowly allowing my sparkle to come back… daring to venture into my own beauty again after having to face the kind of cruelty some people are capable of…

And when this ugly color happened I felt… what’s the point? I’m just muted now. Maybe God’s just telling me to stay mute and stop trying to find my beauty again.

I let the tears flow.
I went for a walk and just let the anger out in my steps…

And I was going back and forth between… This is so stupid I could just belly laugh, and I give up. I’m just done trying. I’ll just stay flat & grey forever.

Slowly, as I walked, I could feel my old familiar wisdom calling to me. “My love, if this happened, it’s a gift. What is the gift?”

And I could feel the little girl in me that was facing the dark… yearning for fields of flowers… for sun rays and butterflies…

Beauty.

I could feel her yearning to be with kind, loving humans… emanating beauty from their souls, lighting up the whole home…

Beauty. To remember so much beauty exists.

And I could just feel it so clearly…

I have to have the courage to find and hold the frequency of beauty again.

  • After being told beauty is what made women hurt.
  • After beauty being what harmed me.
  • After beauty being why some hated me.
  • After beauty being why people picked my body apart….
  • After beauty being something I tried to be and couldn’t in the storm…

After beauty seemed to be an illusion as I accepted the darkness around me.

I had lost the frequency…

I cried.
I stomped my feet.
And I let out the rebellion I felt.
Fk this.

If courage is what is required… then this darkness came to the right woman… because of all the things I do not have… courage is not one of them.

I choose to remember the endless good.
I choose to remember the innocence of beauty.
I choose to face the fears and cultivate the frequency of beauty again.

The kind that begins in my chest.
The kind that gets buried under mass amounts of humans who act like it’s something we can create externally.

Real beauty?

It’s the miracle of a woman who has seen her shadows and still chooses radiance.
Who has seen the world’s shadows and still stays soft.

Real beauty is when your soul is at peace with itself.
It is the vibration of a woman who has come home to herself.

Real beauty isn’t something you become, it’s something you remember…

And in this day and age?
It takes COURAGE.
Courage to keep holding onto the innocence of it.
Courage to dare to believe its light lives in YOU. Always has… and can never be extinguished.

…
My love,
You already are beautiful.
Not in some vague spiritual way, but in REAL, activated, undeniable frequency.

The ONLY thing you are missing is the permission to live like it.

Well…
permission granted. ❤

Fields of flowersssss butterfliesssss and sunrayssss surrounded by the love of each other… HERE WE COMEEEEEEE Eeeeeee!!!!

Ps: Only God could have sorted out that 8 missing teeth and some mouse hair could have helped me find the rainbow again.

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