spiritual awakening Archives - Page 3 of 4

Wealth desires & God desires: what’s the truth behind it all?

Jan 9, 2025 | Spiritual Growth

Are our desires ego-driven shallowness????
Are they God’s guidance?
Am I meant to be led by them? To deny them????

HERE IS THE MAGIC I’VE COME TO UNDERSTAND ABOUT THEM…

“I trust my desires are right.”
We begin here. RIGHT HERE is where this adventure begins.

And I do… I truly trust my desires are RIGHT desires now… and it’s like a 1000 lb weight lifted off of me.

But of course God would activate a desire in me. What a perfectly brilliant way to communicate to us. No? What else would a loving Source itself use but the joy of the life force of desire to activate us humans?

But when I look back at some of my desires like looks and Chanel bags and other silly things… I question if I was off base with God’s will?

How could that be in alignment with God’s will? Shouldn’t I question my desires? Aren’t these some self-absorbed, superficial desires? Didn’t it mean I needed validation to some degree somewhere inside? Isn’t that OFF?

No. Not even close.
My desires were never wrong… I simply have outgrown myself again and again and again until old desires feel silly.

They weren’t silly at the time… they were PERFECT.
How do I know they were perfect?
Because they got me to the place where that part of my ego died and I no longer had any attachment to them… which then opened space to LOVE & serve even more.

I will never question my deep soul’s longings again. Never.
I will stop looking back feeling like I should have been THEN… the way I desire to be NOW.

How absurd.
As if we are all supposed to be in the exact same place of our journey all desiring the same thing. Lol

That’s literal nonsense.
It’s absurd even.

We sit around waiting for proof it’s what God wants us to do… yet the inkling to do so IS the answer. The desire to experience it IS the answer.

It’s already perfect.
And it doesn’t have to make sense to some arbitrary standard someone else in a different place has set.
Some societal standard.

If I had followed the societal standard of not caring about wealth and all the wealthy things… I’d NEVER have had the chance to outgrow the validation I needed to let go of the “welfare” Mandy.

I’d still feel like that stuff would make me more valuable. Buying $20k worth of Chanel bags was invaluable because they became as important to me as my favorite Walmart backpack.

That desire was EXACTLY perfect as only the Source of all life could know…

So we drop all absurd judgment of ourselves and others.

We stay out of the sacred place between a soul and its maker and we get still and hear our own deep yearnings, longings and promptings….
Superficial things awaken people all the time.
Deep powerful soul shifts knock people out of the game all the time.

We’re ridiculous with our petty judgments OF OURSELVES in this journey.

Say it with me:
I trust my desires.
I trust my longings.
I trust I am led in the perfect way with the perfect desires and longings.

I TRUST THEY ARE RIGHT.
I TRUST I AM RIGHT.
I TRUST GOD IS RIGHT.
I TRUST this process of trust.

I love you.
I know this takes heaps of courage… lucky for you… that’s no problem.

~ m

Freedom in grieving

Jan 9, 2025 | Spiritual Growth

Sometimes I just grieve.
Grieve the broken families.
The kids suffering.
The loss of innocence in our culture.
I feel it so deep in my bones…

And I let myself feel it all and cry, ache and break.

And I feel the deepest yearning I’ve ever felt inside… wishing I could create a safe space for everyone… an INNOCENT place for everyone.

And I wonder… what’s the point of this?
And I’ve spent many years sitting with this and studying those who have found peace with it all.

And yesterday in my yearning I realized….
>mind blown<

The enlightened masters did just that.
They either created a massive awakening or a safe place of innocence and peace! (or both)

I now understand where that drive came from… and then I feel so soooo inadequate. So small. So clueless.

And I know I’m not the only one daydreaming of taking their kids to the country where they can run the land and connect with God away from tiktoc and all the insanity imprinting.

But THIS place right here… this is it.
THIS is the place where we decide.
This is where we sub come to the pain and desperation or we decide we’re going to bring God’s light in our own mind and energy field, in our home, in our relationships and in the world.

And there are no prerequisites.
There are no disqualifications.

Every single thought I think that causes me to feel that desperation is a lie from evil. Our own ego, maya or the satanic force, and the collective influence that has grown.

I either opt in or I do not.
I can grieve and acknowledge I have a story that it should all be different, more innocent and whole… and I can feel my feelings and remind myself of the truth.

And “the truth shall set you free”
Which means…….. I find the truth by finding what thoughts bring FREEDOM. NOT THE REVERSE.

I don’t have to go find freedom.
I ACKNOWLEDGE IT.

And everything else is just mischief.
So… today I will allow myself to grieve and tell myself the truth about what lies I’ve been buying into… and face it all….

BUT I CHOOSE FREEDOM.
I feel.
I tell the whole truth.
I acknowledge the BS that feels like confusion and death.
I then decide…
and it is my decision alone to wallow and believe it’s all too much, too horrible and too big… I can believe the thoughts…

OR I CAN ACKNOWLEDGE FREEDOM… by telling a deeper truth that only my spirit can feel. My SOUL directs my brain… not the other way around.

There’s zero scenario where my brain is smarter and gets it all better than SOURCE. lol

So…. I choose freedom.
Again.
Again.
Again.
Again…….

And I’ll never stop rewiring my brain to get on board.
I’ll never stop facing the lies and calling them out.
I’ll never stop reaching for freedom, life and like-minded humans that are here to do God’s work.

And I’ll never ever, EVER believe the lie that I can’t make a difference through God’s power.

Say it with me:
“I’m here to be a reflection of God’s love and there’s zero chance my brain will ever stop me. I now declare and decree perfect alignment with my original design! Thank you God for molding me to be a perfect reflection of you in every area of my life… no matter what it takes.”

And so it is.

Letting go of the chase for awakening

Nov 15, 2024 | Spiritual Growth

I’ve recently had the most unnerving realization.
It’s one I’ve never ever heard anyone speak of… and it’s been a very strange feeling to navigate.

Through some extreme circumstances… I had 2 major spiritual awakenings. I didn’t know what was happening at the time but there is nothing else I know to call it but that.

And in these awakenings, I was also led to a spiritual practice that just keeps the floodgates open. I really could see the pathway to awakening. I could see the environment needed, the habits needed, and the incredible discipline needed. I could feel the call to let it allllllllll go. (You know what I mean ya?)

Eating sattvic helped.
Peace and quiet around me helped.
Stillness helped.

And I walked this path deeply for 2 years.
Until one moment it all changed.

I prayed often that God would remove anything that didn’t belong in my life that wasn’t his will… a scary prayer. But I meant it.

Maybe it would be money? Maybe Gregg? Maybe my free schedule? It was an open prayer and all was on the chopping block.

But I could have NEVER anticipated what came next.
Never.

It all of a sudden was the most obvious thing in the world lol.

I was asked to let go of the “awakening” search.
I was asked to eat meat again to ground.
I was asked to keep up with daily demands more powerfully.
I was asked to speak from the heart online again.
I was asked to “come back down to earth” and do everything with excellence.

I realized that figuring out how to awaken was great but that I don’t have a monk’s life… I have a lot of amazing people in my world who need me to be grounded, on point and strong… not flowing around in the ethers.

At first, I was sad. I thought it was so stupid lol.
Do all this to finally understand then let it go?! Whattttttt?!

And then a wave of love came over me.
I choose love. That’s all this is.
The lure of unending joy and no more suffering was loud. And in the seeking I found it more and more and more.

And now it’s time to serve fully and wholeheartedly again.

The blunt realization:
I’m a mother & a fiance in a world full of abuse and toxic people. I’m an initiator and an activator.

I can see the need for my grounded, overflowing presence which is different than my floating self.

I choose to actively love rather than chase the next levels of awakening.

And just like that, love wins and I realized there was no loss at all. That was the illusion.

6 insights to aligning MY will with GOD’S will…

Nov 4, 2024 | Spiritual Growth

Most of the time what I feel God is asking me to do feels ridiculous…

It’s just true.
My learned brain knows everything (according to itself lol) and always knows what’s best… except… that is of course, the complete ridiculousness when I stay conscious.

Quit this job and start your own business… come again? (I was a nanny)
Launch this course about power… (say what?)
Hire this coach who drives you insane… (really though?)
Stop. (what? Now? You realize how hard I worked to get here ya)
Be still. (Oh comeeee onnnnnnnn #adhd lol)

In the season I’ve been in for 2 years… I often sense God asking me to look at something directly with eyes wide open… no matter how much I want NOT to see it.

But on top of it I felt led to do nothing but be willing to face it. Face my own history. Face the abuse happening. Face the corruption in our country. Face the effects of not staying conscious in my own world…

And it’s been hard. Really freekin hard.
But it’s also been incredibly healing as I piece by piece accept that I am not the all-powerful fixer of this world lol. (woohoooo!)

In the manifestation spiritual world… we are. We are oh so powerful and here to change the world… And we are. We are the divine spark of GOD, infinitely connected.

Except… it’s a little baby awakening in our human race… and we’ve got a lot of spiritual growing to do.

As I finally learned to let go of all of the teachings and imprinting from the wealth and boss babe world… I could feel all of the questions I had asked along the way as the exact guidance I was asking of others… when I was meant to go within.

They didn’t have the answers as they were caught up in the “I want” manifestations… and in this world… we truly are SELF-FOCUSED. And we feel it. We feel something is not quite right with it… and we will continue to see an awakening of this over the coming years.

My heart is a bit sad that this is what we taught the younger women who now live for likes and the next million… but I also trust the process. Again and again, I must let go of what I think it should be and allow myself to be still and listen.

Sure, we are powerful. I can move mountains with my sheer will and have many times… but it’s all for nothing if we can’t be still and listen to the still voice inside. It’s all truly for vanity & ego if we won’t be led. And being led feels like peace.

So I sit this morning… hundreds of mornings… asking myself… Where have I gotten caught up in my own self?
In the stillness what do I hear? What do I feel led to?

1. If we aren’t getting still and silent we are definitely caught up in self. THE END. Zero exceptions.
(In meditation, I ask God to guide me. Rather than thinking through my question, I sit in silence and observe what feelings or insights arise. Answers from God often feel peaceful and clear, even if they’re subtle.)

2. I LET IT GO. Full surrender.
I can test my selfishness by choosing to let it go and tell God that if this is not Divine will I’m willing to surrender it. This includes relationships, desires, ideas, truths… everything.
“If this is Your will, let it come to pass. If not, I trust that something better is meant for me.”
When I resist this, and can’t fully mean it in my heart and soul… I know I’m in self.

3. Align my WILL with God’s will…
When I feel strongly about a direction, I ask if it uplifts me toward higher love, compassion, and service. If so, I use my willpower with the intention of serving as a channel for divine energy, making my actions an offering to God.
(This was very challenging until I learned that my INTENTION & awareness is what matters here.)

4. Trust Divine timing…
Yogananda said: “Those who are willing to surrender everything to God will find that He works for them in a much better way than they could plan for themselves.” I remind myself of this often… and I find it to be WILDLY TRUE. I’m fully aware of the chaos I create when I do things in my NOW timing… #notavailable

5. Use JOY & PEACE as markers for being on track…
ok ok ok… I feel this must be said… the MANIC HIGH of doing a bunch of impulsive things is NOT joy… lol. Joy is sustained. It is NOT circumstantial.
I know that true alignment with God’s will brings joy and peace. If a path or decision feels right, it comes with a sense of lightness and joy in my body, even if it’s challenging. VS paths driven by ego that bring anxiety, frustration, or conflict.
Before pursuing a goal, I check in with myself: “Does this choice bring inner joy, peace, and expansion, or does it cause inner conflict?” If it brings joy, it’s likely aligned with God’s will.

6. Make LOVE the center of every action:
This one is a life-long process eh?
The ultimate purpose of life is to love and serve God in all beings… So pursuits that center on LOVE, compassion, and selflessness are usually aligned with divine will. And we can check for that easily if we are truthful to ourselves.
Do my goals reflect love or service?
If my intentions uplift others and bring out my highest qualities, they are likely aligned with God’s will.

Say it with me:
“I am a vessel of divine love and purpose, guided by God’s wisdom in every step I take.”
“I release all attachment to outcomes, trusting fully in God’s perfect timing and plan for my life.”
“With each breath, I choose stillness & I align my will with God’s will, allowing divine consciousness to flow through me.”

Love, m

Ego death & helping those you love

Oct 31, 2024 | Spiritual Growth

Recently I’ve been manifesting outgrowing the toxic parts of my ego… and man, I had no idea how incredibly liberating and painful that journey would be.

For those who have been following… you know I’ve been stuck on this for quite a couple of years now… “I did not come to teach you. I came to love you and love will teach you.”

Obviously, as an online teacher and coach that stopped me right in my tracks… and has been a never-ending source of description to the world I lived in…

Then I got feedback from the family that I press too hard.

Tough feedback.
And at first I felt like… “Well that’s just who I am… I push when it’s needed… I did make millions doing just that.” Only to FINALLY be able to recognize that THAT WAS the voice of my ego pushing for an identity.

I direct other’s growth.
It’s WHO I AM.

BAM. Busted.
Ego needs validation of value.
THAT is not who I AM. Not even almost.

So who would I be if I wasn’t the one directing other’s growth?
The one waking people up.
Bluntly & unceasingly confronting the insanity around me…

My ego mind shot back… “You’d be a self-absorbed, lazy nothing.” lol…

But my Soul said… “You’d be a woman honoring the greater plan.”

Damn…

I’m not the director of growth for those around me in my energy field… that’s just who I’ve chosen to identify as to be sure I am being someone who is valuable to others… when the truth is I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S BEST FOR ANYONE, only God does. Only them and their soul knows.

SO… then…. if my job is not to “teach and awaken” others… what am I here for?

GOLD!
I know every single time I reach the whole “WHAT’S THE POINT OF ANYTHING THEN” place… I’ve reached the end of my ego.

It’s a VERY uncomfortable place to be… walking on day 2 where you can see your unhealed, ego ways but can’t see how to be different yet. (I know you know what I mean)

Where you can see the stress you may have caused to your loved ones but don’t know how you could have done it any differently yet? Blah. Ya. That.

And if you don’t know what I mean… time to dig deep and tell a much deeper truth about what’s actually happening in your world… (but you already knew that).

So I cry.
I accept day 2 pain.
I thank God endlessly for showing me the truth and waking me up.
I put myself in other’s shoes and try to understand how I’ve missed the mark with them.
I get more feedback.
I cry. I thank Divine for endless Grace and forgiveness…

and I listen for the newness I’m being called into.

I watch for the shame and guilt that beckons me into its blackness… and do anything but go into it… watch TV, cry, walk, meditate, journal, cook… whatever… so long as I breathe through this part.

It doesn’t help anyone to be self-focused on my own failures.
And I remind myself it’s not a failure at all… how could it be?

OUR BEST IS ALWAYS ENOUGH.
Especially when that feels 0% true.

How can we expect to grow rapidly, awaken and realize all the ways we missed the mark if we judge ourselves for not having already known it every time we awaken!! That’s a broken system… and we will run in circles if we allow it.

Say it with me:
I trust the Divine wisdom in others to guide them on their path.
I release control and allow more and more peace and ease to flow through me into our home.
I hold space with love no matter what I think should happen… no matter how I think it should go, no matter when I think it should happen.
I honor my energy by releasing what I think I need to control and focusing on my inner guidance to be an example of trust.
I trust that true growth happens when I step back, allowing others to evolve in their own time and way.
I am a peaceful presence, holding space for growth and transformation, TRUSTING the DIVINE wisdom to lead others where they are meant to go.

I’m with you

mandy

« Older Entries

Next Entries »