This morning I prayed for restoration in my health… and full exposing of all holding me back. I declared it as I woke up in pain from sitting yesterday creating all day.
I felt an even deeper birth of knowing that my words hold all the power needed to heal. Deeper and deeper we go into God’s power.
And just like that within the hour – all of a sudden I could see the mischief playing out. From the sexual assaults in my life to being drowned in the tub and men being obsessed with me… to being told harm should come to me so I would lose weight… full circle trauma.
I could all of a sudden see how I’d chosen to protect myself through making sure I wasn’t too desirable. How reconnecting with my body in a way of powerful self-care in this physical way felt like letting them all win.
Gotcha!
Lies lies lies.
They currently still feel VERY true but I can see it plain as day, they’re not.
I cried and let it all out and started journaling…
> What am I afraid will happen if I focus on my health and body now?
> What would feel unsafe about embracing fitness consistently?
> What do I need to feel safe and loved as I take small steps forward?
I am reclaiming my rights to divine health after so many years of trauma.
I’m claiming my x7 back everything that was taken from me.
Say it with me:
I am done letting fear run the show. Fear has tried to protect me, but it’s been lying to me. It told me I wasn’t safe in my body, but that’s not true –
I am safe in my body. My body is my home. My body is mine. It’s not here for anyone else to judge, harm, or objectify.
Fear told me that if I let go, I’d lose myself, but I see now that holding onto fear has only kept me small. Letting go doesn’t make me weaker – it makes me stronger. I can release fear and still hold my power. I can let go of the lies and still stay safe.
I don’t need fear to protect me anymore. I have wisdom now. I have strength now. I have boundaries now. I trust myself to see clearly and to take care of myself.
Fear told me that focusing on my body would make me vain, shallow, or disconnected from God, but that’s a lie. My body is a sacred gift. It’s not separate from my spirit – it’s an expression of it. Taking care of my body doesn’t pull me away from my path – it helps me walk it with energy, strength, and joy.
Fear told me I couldn’t trust myself. That if I became too radiant, too alive, too magnetic, I’d lose control. But that’s not true either. My beauty, my radiance, my magnetism – they are MINE. They don’t make me vulnerable; they make me powerful. I am the one who decides who gets to access my energy, my light, my presence.
Fear told me that if I heal, if I let go, then the people who hurt me win. But I see now that holding onto pain doesn’t protect me – it chains me to the past. Letting go is not giving in. Letting go is freedom. Letting go is my way of saying, ‘You don’t get to control me anymore’.
I am safe. I am whole. I am free to move, to heal, to thrive. Fear doesn’t get to define me anymore. I define me. And I say that I am worthy of peace. I am worthy of energy. I am worthy of vitality. I am worthy of love.
I am not what happened to me. I am not what was said to me. I am not the lies fear tried to sell me. I am power. I am healing. I am everything I need to be right here, right now, and I am only getting stronger.
And
So
It
Is
